In This Life

shopping. and yes, you can purchase body parts too.

I must say that my third visit to SL was much more productive, revealing, and slightly disturbing that I imagined. The last time I inhabited SL (last week), I randomly teleported to an adult sim where I was propositioned by several avatars for random “play.” I ignored their requests, and teleported to another sim where I noticed several avatars building massive robotic machines, but speaking (hearing them through my headphones) in a language I didn’t recognize. After walking circles around Orientation Island, I left, slightly unnerved.

This time, however, I was a little lucky. The “help” sim of SL is an interesting location, for there are “hotspots” where pockets of people are roaming, talking, and constantly soliciting meetings, both friendly and sexual. Others are more helpful in telling people what to do to fly, how to send IMs, change their avatar appearance or earn Linden dollars. A few minutes after I casually looked around, and clicking on other avatars to read their profiles, a male child neko (1) avatar named “Ron” approached me and said hello.  I said hi back, and pointed out the dancing Kool-Aid man who was bumping into other avatars for no particular reason. He asked me if I liked dancing, and that if I needed help with anything, to ask. I told him that I hadn’t learned to dance in SL yet, and if there were any sims in SL in which I could meet people. He asked me if I was an adult, and for a moment I was slightly stumped, “What cites me as a adult, or a child? How do I recognize myself in SL?” I then told him I was an adult, and he told me he wasn’t familiar with many adult clubs, but “mixed clubs” such as Fluffys, Terra, and Illusion, where “kids and adults, furrys, and neko vampires” were welcomed.

He then told me if I wanted to shop for free stuff, or if I wanted an animation that would allow me to walk more realistically (it would be better than my stiff, penguin walk anyway). I said ok, and he sent me the animation. And yes, I did walk more fluidly, but as I was strutting my new moves near a bridge, I accidentaly clicked “STEP ON HERE” over a yellow ball object on the ground, and ended up stepping on something that didn’t allow me to move for several seconds. An avatar called “Don’t Sit Here” whispered, “What did you step in?” Ron giggled and told me to never click on an object that I didn’t recognize. “Someone is pranking the newbies.” Other avatars on the bridge, like lemmings, followed my lead and ending up wiping shit off their shoes.

After laughing my SL hazing “moment” off, I figured it would be a good opportunity to take up Ron’s offer and get some clothes to slightly improve my avatar’s look (not that I would care, but the first time I was on SL, I noticed a look alike walk around…I felt that he was some kind of imposter ), I acquiesced. We teleported to this large warehouse space (FREEBIES DUNGEON!). On the walls were icons with the latest in urban wear (anything you’d likely to see at a Marc Ecko, Rocawear, Abercrombie, etc), and the floors were full of boxes with items ranging from “FREE HOMES,” “‘WIGS,” “GENTLEMAN’S KIT,” “SHOES,” etc…Ron told me that the stuff on the walls cost as least a Linden dollar, and to purge through the boxes, for EVERYTHING WAS FREE. It was awesome. He pointed out to boxes with jeans, shoes, and t-shirts. I ended up getting a box of acid-washed jeans, and rock band themed t-shirts. He also asked him if I needed any male “parts,” and pointed out a boxes (on the snapsnop above) with “skins” and “penus packs” (if you wanted “white,” “black,” or “tan,” it was there for the picking). I laughed, and told him that I didn’t need one.

Ron left for a little bit to check out a robot of friend of his was making, and I told him I’d stick around and peruse the area. I went through several boxes, and decided to try on some “skins”…but I accidently wore one that gave me a very effeminate face, highlights and mascara, and couldn’t be modified. After several minutes of fidgeting with the preferences, Ron messaged me back to see if I was still around. I told him about my predicament, and he said, “Did you change in public? ::laughs:: You don’t want people to see you, do you?” Apparently in SL, there is an etiquette you must follow with respect to dressing/undressing, and it is pretty clear that much like in the real world, there is a public/private sphere at play.

Ron offered to teleport me a more discreet location so he could assist me with my appearance. I ended up teleporting to a gym room with weights, a wrestling mat, several lockers, a shower, and stools. He told me to place my avatar on a stand so that I could more easily make changes to my avatar’s physical appearance. With his help, I finally reverted to my old “skin,” but opted to make my frame a little taller and my hair a little longer than before. He told me I looked “good” and that I was “ready to meet the girl/guy of my dreams now” and there there were a lot “out there.” I then replied that I wasn’t in SL for “that” because I was a student and doing research on Second Life (2). Ron then said, “So you want to keep it clean and no “play” around.” I replied, “Well, whatever happens, happens, but I’m just observing for now.”

At this juncture, I thought that Ron’s openness toward me might change after my disclosure, but he didn’t seem to mind. He told me to check out the gym if I liked, and I did. But as I walked near the stools, he gingerly warned me to “not click on the colored balls,” as they were for “special stuff.” It was pretty clear to me that these objects were for SL sexual play and/or activity. I walked back to the lockers, got a Coke from the machines (Ron got a Red Bull), and we tried the wrestling application for a little bit before going upstairs.

I then entered a large recreation room with a dance floor and dj set, a few casino games, a large bar with a robotic bartender (Ron said all drinks for free for his guests…I got a rum and coke), a large plasma TV (which connected you to a network full of “how-to” videos on SL), several couches, and a “Truth or Dare” game on the wall. Ron told me that he was in the process of building the room, and that he often invites friends to come over and dance and play Truth or Dare. He then took me to his room, which had more couches, a fireplace, bed, and a bench with several restraints.

We walked back to the rec room, and Ron suggested that we listen to music and that he would teach me some dance moves.

dancing to slow jams.

Dancing was pretty fun, and Ron and I talked about our favorite music before the conversation shifted to social activities in SL. He told me that I would be a good fit in clubs and if I knew that “kids/teens in SL are over 18.” I told him I did. I asked him what his age was. He said that he was 12 in SL, but older than 18 in RL (3).

I asked him few questions about the things he did on SL. He told me that he really likes to dance and often frequents “mixed” clubs, gets approached on a lot (“by guys and girls”), and that he has a boyfriend who’s “not the jealous type.” He hosts parties at his place, where his friends dance and play games.

I was also curious by his avatar, which states that’s he’s the member of a family, and asked him about how he came to be part of it. He told me that in SL, there are adoption agencies. But there are the official ones (in which he described you have to follow rules and regulations), and the “private ones.” He was adopted privately by a family that was seeking a son. He had a sister, but he told me that she “dropped out months ago.” I then asked him why he decided to join a family, instead of being on his own. Ron said that after 4 months of being on his own, he wanted a change. He said his family was very welcoming (although he told me that his parents hadn’t seen certain areas of his “house” and didn’t talk about his lifestyle) and were comfortable with his same-sex relationship (“dad is st8, but he accepts it, mom is cool with it and thinks i’m the greatest”).

Ron had to go, but gave me a landmark to his place, the freebies dungeon, and invited me to join the Club Fluffys group. He told me that I was welcomed anytime and if I needed help with SL, he would be there to help. I gave him my thanks, and practiced a few more of my dance moves before teleporting back to Orientation Island, and leaving SL.

It was an interesting evening to say the least, which left me with many questions, particularly on doing ethnography in mediated environments. Is there a “proper” ethnography? Things to do and to avoid?

I got to thinking of “The Passenger” clip that Jason played in class last week, where the journalist has the camera turned on him by a villager after asking a series of ethnocentric, invasive questions to his “object of study.” In my interacts with Ron, I was continually torn between my role as an SL avatar “navigator/explorer” (or as Ron put it, doing SL for “fun”) and as a researcher. I was both. Roles are never fixed. They are continually in flux, as is my identity in my FL and SL. I must say that I am grateful for this early interaction, because it has opened quite a Pandora’s Box with respect to my initial impressions on SL, which were quite skeptical. Originally, I had taken the complexity of this space, this territory, this “-scape” much for granted. Overnight, it has put me in quite an entertaining and provocative muddle.

Endnotes

(1) According to SL avatar Gundran Gausman’s blog “Live Your Dream” (http://livyurdream.blogspot.com/2008/04/what-is-neko.html?showComment=1209004920000) a “neko,” is a Japanese term for a cat (Nekojin). “In Japanese gay slang, “Neko” is equivalent to “femme,” i.e., the more feminine member of a lesbian relationship. It’s also equivalent to the bottom or passive partner in a male homosexual relationship.”   In another SL blog OH HUSH! (http://octoberhush.blogspot.com/2007/04/being-neko.html), a neko is defined as “…someone with a cat-like appearance (usually ears and maybe a tail are generally considered the minimum) but who retains humanoid features.” For more insight, download the SL lifestyle magazine PWND’s issue devoted to Neko culture here: http://culture-vulture.net/pwnd/PWND_Magazine-Issue_002.pdf)

(2) Should have I disclosed what was actually doing, or should have I retained some anonymity? Could have it been better to keep my FL and SL “personas” apart? I keep thinking about this after talking to Ron on that particularly evening. I mostly did it to keep some semblence of honesty in my interactions, and to clarify what my role was in this environment. I’m still mulling over my decision to disclose my FL identity. Its a question to pose in class…

(3) I didn’t ponder further, but I kept thinking to myself, “Why would someone chose a young avatar in SL? What’s the reason? Entertain childhood fantasies? Engage in questionable practices?” Its an interesting facet of a subculture that provokes so many moral and legal questions on age, gender and identity “play” in computer mediated environments. It is also important to note that there has also been a lot of negative media attention and controversy over the past year surrounding the presence of young avatars in SL, particularly on the practice of “age play” (More info on Linden Labs’ policy on this here: http://blog.secondlife.com/2007/11/13/clarification-of-policy-disallowing-ageplay/). Like with any type of social environment, there are manifest and latent effects continually at work, and it became really clear to me that while Linden Labs (the creators of SL) have strict rules and regulations that govern and help establish order, it is an “order” that is quite porous to subversion, resistance and change, much like the real world. There are many layers to SL, complicated by the intersections of age, gender, race, class, and geography, that lead to multiple experiences and realities. I’m curious to know if the application of diaspora theory (which in my eyes, is very relevant here) may be fruitful in understanding these processes more.